Let me get the obvious out of the way first. I am not a pre-marital counselor. In fact I am not a counselor in any capacity of the word. I’ve taken one introductory psychology course and that’s it. I am in no way qualified to provide anyone with counseling.
What I do have is a belief that a healthy relationship is built on love, open communication, and managed expectations. I am also the inventor of “The Ultimate Drinking Game,” which is literally just a series of probing, personal questions and silly challenges.
This workbook is basically just that… a collection of probing, personal questions and – sometimes silly – relationship building activities gathered from across the internet. The key is to get to know your partner better. I have no answers, only opportunities for you and your partner to work through some serious stuff – sex, children, affairs, death – before getting married.
Some questions you will do with your partner. This includes:
- My Favorites
- My History & Preferences
- Spirituality, Philosophy, and Ethics
- TEST: Sex Preferences
- Parents & Family
- Conflict Resolution Self Assessment
- Medical & End of Life Issues
Others you will do separately and then talk with your partner about your answers.
- Marriage Expectations & Roles
- Our History
- Conflict Resolution
- Apocalypse Preparation
There are also a variety of relationship building activities you can complete together.
If interested, I can provide you with a color coded printed copy for a small fee.
Try to think about all of the questions, but you do not have to have every answer. You won’t. This isn’t a plan for the rest of your life, but the beginning of a very long, ongoing discussion with your partner. It’s an opportunity to get any big surprises out of the way and get to know your partner’s stance on things you will eventually have to deal with as a couple.
You do not have to do all of the questions in order, nor do you have to complete every thing. Pick and choose if you need to.
You also do not have to share your results with anyone, though it may be useful to share the following pages with your officiant to help prepare for your wedding ceremony: Our History, Goals, Marriage Expectations & Roles, Wedding Layout, and Wedding Vows.
While this workbook’s intention is for you and your partner to discuss serious topics, there may be an argument for having a third-party facilitator to help the conversation along and help manage emotions and conversations. This workbook cannot replace having an actual pre-marital counselor.