Spirituality & Sexuality

Spirituality, Philosophy, & Ethics

Life Philosophy

  • What is my personal “meaning of life?”
  • Where does my happiness come from?
  • How does one obtain true peace?
  • What is my deepest intention?
  • What happens to you after you die?

God

  • What is my image of God?
  • Who was Jesus? What is the bible?
  • Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?
  • What is the relationship between science and religion?

Ethics

  • How do I define a person of good character?
  • Do I have clear-cut ideas about right and wrong or do I subscribe to situational ethics?
  • Will I lie if it makes things more convenient for me?
  • When is war justifiable?

Practice

  • What is my reasoning-believing process?
  • Does religion play an important part in my life? In what ways?
  • Have I forgiven myself and others unconditionally?
  • What does it mean to live in the present moment?
  • What are your daily personal devotional practices? (i.e. prayer, reading, meditation, memorization, etc.)
  • How important is it to be part of a small accountability/support group?
  • What is the importance of music in life and worship?

Sexuality

Language

  • I prefer my chest be referred to as:
  • I prefer my genitals be referred to as:
  • I prefer my sexual orientation to be referred to as:
  • If I were to name my genitalia, I’d call it:
  • If I were to name my partner’s genitalia, I’d call them:
  • Some words I am not okay with are:
  • What is our safe word if things get too rough?

Solo

  • How is masturbation different from sex with my partner? How do I feel about my partner masturbating?
  • What kind of porn do I like? Dislike? How do I feel about my partner looking at erotica or porn?
  • In what ways might porn affect our relationship?

Foreplay

  • Foreplay to me means:
  • My ideal setting for sex is:

Sex

  • How do I define sex?
  • How do I feel about kissing after oral?
  • Ideally, how often do I like to have sex?
  • If my partner and I disagree in terms of frequency, what will our solution be?
  • How important is it for me to have an orgasm every time?
  • What are my favorite sexual positions? What do I like about them?
  • Am I interested in experimenting with new positions found in books and websites?
  • How do I feel about being sexual while my partner is menstruating?
  • How do I feel about quickies? Long, planned sessions?

Monogamy

  • How do I define cheating?
  • Do I want to establish from the beginning that affairs are not an option?
  • Do I agree that affairs of the heart are equal to a sexual affair?
  • What steps will we take to “affair-proof” my marriage?
  • What are my views on socializing with opposite sex friends?
  • Should we talk if one of us feels drawn to someone erotically (this can build the bond between us rather than the outside person)?

Communication

  • Do I have any concerns about our sex life?
  • A personal problem I’ve had in my sex life or potential sex life is:
  • How do I prefer to get feedback, constructive criticism?
  • If my partner wanted to tell me something/ask for something, but was afraid to bring it up, I would put them at ease by?
  • Do I have any emotional hot spots/triggers?

Pregnancy & STI Prevention

  • MALE: What is my stance on condom use? Have I used them regularly in the past? FEMALE: Am I currently on any form of birth control? Which methods have I used in the past?
  • Have I been tested for STIs?
  • What would I do in case of a pregnancy? Would I be open to abortion?

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